There are two times in my life when I’ve worn a bowtie. One was for prom, and the second was at a showing of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure at the Alamo Drafthouse, over 20 years later, with my husband.

Paul Rueben gave us all permission to let that childhood spirit infect us and the freedom that came with it. Plenty of people didn’t get his character, but I did, and I was his audience. In fact, in high school, long after the show had ended, I printed out “the word of the day” and would hand it out at lunch. If you heard it, you had to yell for no good reason.

As an adult, I could say I’m sorry to those teachers, but not really. It was so damn funny to hear someone yell for what appeared to be no reason. It was one way I made it through the hell that was high school. Thank you, Paul; you were one of a kind, and the world was better for having you in it. I understand why you chose to hide the cancer from us. It was your way of trying to shield us from the harsh realities we sometimes face.